The Seagulls

The Seagulls

I’m convinced that seagulls are passive aggressive,

and some are even worse.

Waiting, watching your every move

hoping, to launch an attack,

for any and all morsels of food.

Reaching into your bags can cause havoc,

as they inch closer, squawking to tell

their buddies, twenty more then

watching and waiting.

We were sitting in our beach chairs,

when my wife said, “Watch this!”

I shouted, “No don’t!” too late.

She threw them a piece of her sandwich,

chaos erupted, 143 seagulls descended

within seconds,

some dive bombed,

others pecked at each other,

all of them squawking, and cussing,

calling each other names.

Where did they all come from?

I dived on top of my wife to protect her,

swung around,

and pulled the umbrella out of the sand,

used it as a shield, to cover us.

It was awful.

Then I snorted, and woke myself up.

With one eye open I asked,

“Did you just feed the birds?”

She said, “No, don’t be silly”

as she continued reading her book.

I said, “Oh, thank God,”

“…too many Alfred Hitchcock movies….”

I did notice, after we got home though,

that the starlings have been staring at us.



© Copyright 2014, nicodemasplusthree

2 thoughts on “The Seagulls

  1. Haha this is hilarious. Reminds me of the times in my childhood when I threw french fries in the air at the beach and none of them ever hit the ground (nabbed by seagulls). =)

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