After the Cancer


After the cancer, the flowers seem more alive

the love flows more freely, but different somehow

it is a softer knowing, the importance

of breathing, and an assurance

that life is more than today,

more than the body.

There is a beauty

in learning

how to



Note: I wrote this today, not really intending to, and having come full circle. For a long time I avoided writing about my wife having had cancer, not wanting to relive all the pain and fear we experienced. Sometimes it did leak out, and find its way here into the blog, but it was more like a type of grieving, and I never really liked that much.

Now though, I don’t grieve like I used to. Even though my wife’s body will never be the same, she is doing so well, and she is able to work a part time job for the first time in a long time.

So if you don’t mind, once in a while I may write about this part our journey together – as a way of looking forward, instead of looking back.

My Love and I are celebrating life! Our love is much deeper and richer now.



Poetry, Narrative, and Image © Copyright 2016, ancient skies

Peace and blessings to everyone.

“When we love people, we give them hope.”

52 thoughts on “After the Cancer

  1. I’m very moved by this, I think it is wonderful therapy and a great blessing to be a writer who can dig deeply into issues that touch so many of us. Thank you for this beautiful post!

    1. Thank you Holly! And I am deeply moved by the outpouring of love here tonight. We really are looking forward to the future – together. Life is temporary, but love is eternal. Peace and rich blessings.

  2. thank you Nico, for sharing this beautiful post on love; your heart and spirit! it is a wonderful thing 🙂
    peace and good tidings, cheers – Debi

    1. Debi I am deeply moved by your comments, and all the support here tonight. My wife and I are so looking forward to the future. Love is richer now, and the flowers do look much brighter! Peace and cheers to you my friend.

  3. When we grieve we think nobody is there for us but they are. My thing was to push people away but when I had an overwhelming show of support I was able to grieve for the first time and to shed tears since childhood for the first time. We are here for you

    1. Thank you Joseph, your words mean so much to me. I did grieve for years, at how she suffered. And we are so relieved now. You’re right sharing does help with healing! Even tonight I had unexpected tears. I understand completely about pushing people away. As a guy I have always tried to be the strong one, and she did need that. But over the years my armor got thin.
      I’m so grateful for your kindness. I am still praying for you. Peace my friend.

      1. I’m pleased that your wife is doing well. Tears tell us there is something not right or it is tears of joy also that are shed. To cry for me at the end felt less heavy in my body. Tears renew. Yes the armor does get thin after a while doesn’t it. For me it had depleted over these last 4 weeks and with the shedding of the tear another armor shed its skin over me. It was not one of defense where we push people away but it was a surrendering to feel every emotion I could even though grief was the major one. Sending healing to all of you. Be well my friend

  4. Oh Nico, this is so touching! And first I’m thrilled that your wife is doing well. I will pray for her compete recovery. I’m so glad you let us know about your sorrow and grief, and Joseph (thespiritkeepers) is so right about it being a way to release and receive support. Thank you for sharing this with us. May I use the lines below the flower in a post as there are those who will benefit from the beauty and healing they may bring. Of course, I will give you and your sight credit for them. Love and hugs and peace, Natalie 🙂 ❤

    1. Thank you Natalie! I’m so very blessed by your kindness and prayers. Yes you may use anything of mine at anytime. I trust you completely. I’m in tears. It took me a long time to realize it has affected me so. Thanks again. Peace.

      1. I’m as blessed as well by your presence in my world and all the support you give me. I’m so glad you shared this so that your readers could pray for you and your wife. Take of yourself and know that we love you both! 😘

  5. Thank you for sharing my sister was just diignoised with breast cancer, and I have a good friend fighting it now for month. People need to hear other’s story especially for the hope they give, but also just to know they’re not alone in what they’re going through. Your poems have such a calming and healing affect too.

    1. Thank you Connie! You and the readers here have made my day and week! I’ll be praying for your sister and friend. This type of thing is always a battle, physically, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually. It’s difficult to have faith at times. We are all humans, and need the strength of each other. Thank you for being here my friend. Peace!

  6. This touched my heart. I am happy your wife is doing better. God is amazing, and I pray He continues to heal your wife. Thank you for sharing. ❤

    1. Pam your words bring tears to my eyes. Thank you! I did not think about trusting, but its true. Health issues are never easy, and she had serious health problems for so long, it has taken a toll on us. She’s almost back to normal but her immune system has been permanently damaged. Peace to you and thanks again.

  7. We all appreciate the preciousness of life when we are faced with sickness or death. Wonderful news your wife is doing well and is feeling stronger. Your honestly helps others feel connected Nico and this is what creates peace in our souls.

  8. This is beautiful. I believe when we share something sacred it is very healing. I have found sharing here on WP very healing. I celebrate your life and honor this journey. Such a beautiful post. Blessings to you! 😄

    1. MichelleMarie thank you! You have made my day with your kind words. You’re right about the healing my friend. I hope you and your family are well. Peace to you all!

    1. Thank you my friend! We sooo appreciate your prayers. We truly are looking forward to the future. Peace to you, and have a blessed Sunday with your family and Mass.

  9. Nicodemas, your feelings, whether they be of joy, fear or sorrow will always come through your writings as your words are but a mere extension of your soul—cathartic and therapeutic for not only yourself, but for so many of your readers as well—here is to both you and your wife—blessings

    1. Thank you Julie! Yes it’s true that writing will be an extension of our souls. To be honest I did not realize this post would touch a cord in others so deeply. There has been such love here tonight, and all I was trying to express was that I realized I was beginning to move beyond what took place, and we were moving forward. Julie she truly was so close to dying, and now she is a walking miracle. Thank God. Thank you for your kindness and blessings.

  10. It was not the poem. It was what you wrote about the background of the poem, Nicodemas. I totally see why you embrace life and your wife so strongly. The love for sure has always been there, but the awareness of the gift has gotten so much clearer when fearing of losing it. I am so glad, that you are where you are today and I understand why you refused to write about it. But writing about it now shows that the worst part of struggling with it lies behind you and I want to encourage you to share this with us. It is an honor that you do! Blessings to you and your wife, dear friend!

    1. Erika your words are great strength to me, and yes you know my secrets now, my inspirations for writing. Thank you for your priceless words. I especially like your observation that the worst is behind us/me. I can now, and will from time to time write about it. Peace my friend and thank you again.

      1. I appreciate your trust for sharing this all with us. Thank you, Nicodemas. What I experienced here is that the deeper things happen the more we all stick together! The fact that you are able to share it now definitiely is that you are ready to let go …. and welcome the new life that lies in front of you and your wife. It has given me goosebumps to feel that! Blessings and big hugs to both of you, my friend!

  11. Such an emotional thing to write but beautifully done. Even as life moves on it sometimes is important to explain how you felt or are feeling. I wish you and your wife the best x

    1. Thank you for your wonderful comments! It did affect both us for a long time – in different ways. God helped us to survive, each step, a little at a time. Peace to you, and rich blessings!

  12. Living with cancer is like not knowing what to expect from one day to the next. Yes it changes the person not only from the inside, the ravages cancer leaves behind is indescribable. Faith, prayers, family support and true friends somehow get us through all this stronger and to appreciate what most take for granted. 🎄👰

      1. We haven’t death with cancer and I haven’t directly written about it,but my husband has stood faithfully with me through repeated strokes and illnesses since 2004. I know it has been hard for him. I enjoy your posts so most and you have helped me to see that I need to overcome my fear of sharing more.

      2. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been sick. It can be difficult for a couple. It sounds like he very much loves you! Be encouraged. When I write about this part of my lives, i seek to encourage others, and in the process I get encouraged too! Wishing you peace, blessings, and good health!

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