James Dreamwalker was sitting in the tea room, of the Palace Hotel, sipping some of the best Chinese tea he had ever had. His phone beeped again with another email. It was Linda again, her message, was “How was your day sweetheart?”. The truth was, he needed some space. He didn’t want to answer her right now. She was rushing it for sure. They had gone out 5-6 times, and had even gotten physical, but she equated that, and everything else, to getting married. He liked her, but did he love her? He was glad he was in Singapore! And besides all that she was….well she was….so religious!
He needed time to think, but being in Singapore was not exactly a vacation. He was working 10-12 hour days helping the company office set up their software. A few minutes later he was enjoying the Dim Sum, when his phone rang. It was the office, and in particular, it was Paul in a panicked voice, “James we need you to come back to the office, right away!” “The spreadsheet software is not responding!”. He told Paul to calm down, and he would be there in a few minutes. He lied. He had every intention of finishing this wonderful meal, and then he would go to the office again.
The next morning his phone woke him up, promptly at 7:00am. He was not ready to wake up, and the luxury of the 5 Star hotel bed, held him there, a sleeping captive. He did manage to reach for the phone. It was his friend Standing Bear! He hoped nobody had died. “Hello!” he said. “James, what in the world are you doing?” was the response. “Whaa?” “James, listen Linda just called me in tears because you have not answered her emails in two days!” “What is wrong with you?!” “I….I…I’m not sure I love her”. There, it was out now. “Ok, well I don’t know about all that, but at least treat her like a human being.”
He was right. His best friend, and the spiritual leader of his people, knew what he was talking about, especially this time. After he hung up with Standing Bear, he dialed Linda. He apologized before even saying hello. She had been crying, and he could tell. She loved him for sure, he heard it in her voice. Wasn’t it too soon? Did they really know each other? She told him to come home soon, he smiled, and began to soften. When he hung up with her, he knew one thing for sure.
He had been holding back. It wasn’t Linda with the problem. It was him, he was afraid of commitment, with her, with anybody. As he looked in the mirror to brush his teeth, he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt…….without question……that he was an idiot.
To be continued!
Blessings to everyone and PEACE!
“If you love nature, you will love people.”
Writing © Copyright 2015, nicodemasplusthree
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