He needed the waves. He was falling asleep again, stretched out on a lounge chair. He had come out to the beach early, to feel the rhythm, and to be at peace. From time to time he drifted off, floating to another world. It was Belinda that filled his dreams. Sometimes they were walking on the beach, holding hands, in other dreams……well they were physical…..and going beyond just a kiss. He was in love and he knew it.
He thought he could hear her voice. Was she calling him? “Robert are you awake?” “Robert??” He was coming out of it now, “What?” He opened his eyes, just in time to move over, as she sat on the end of his lounge chair.
“Robert why are you avoiding me?” “What?” He hadn’t told her yet, and he needed to. He noticed her hair swept to one side, and down the front. It was his favorite way of her wearing her hair, and she knew it. She continued, “We’ve been here almost 3 weeks and you haven’t said more than two words to me!!” “What are you doing playing with my emotions like that!!” She was getting upset now. She was right in a way, but he felt anger rising too. Who did she think she was anyway, judging him like that? She stood up because she was crying now. “I thought you loved me!”
He noticed her pink halter top and blue shorts. “Can you sit down Belinda?” “People walking by are beginning to stare.” She sat down, wiping her tears. He wanted to tell her… he did…. but he didn’t know how. She started up again, “I know you need to get your head together, because your wife died, but how long are you going to walk around with her ghost in your head?!!” She shouldn’t have said that, and she was raising her voice again.
He had had enough of this talk. He sat up and looked her square in the face. “Yes I love you, but I have not been with a women for years.” He was the one yelling now. “Loving you scares me the daylights out of me!!” Her heart sank, realizing she may have blown it completely. “Robert…..you were married…..” He cut her off – “No Belinda, we were not a couple…..after the first couple of years….we were not a couple….. I was the caregiver of a very sick person…..”
He stood up to finish his sermon, “And another thing (he was still yelling as people watched) if we get together, and it’s over in a week – or a month – what good is that??!!” He turned to walk away, realizing it was probably a mistake, but he was too angry to continue. He stomped down the beach, not even noticing the bikinis. He mumbled to himself, “Why are women so complicated?”
Belinda fell back in the lounge chair. She felt awful in one way, but one thing was for sure, even though it didn’t go according to plan – the fact was, he said it. He did love her. She couldn’t help smiling. He loved her, and that was for certain. Why were men so complicated?
Writing and Image © Copyright 2015, nicodemasplusthree
Peace and blessings to everyone.
“If you love nature, you will love people.”